Breastfeeding cramps, depression, fear, fertility, guilt, infertility, ivf, maternity, miscarriage, pregnancy, pregnancy test, recurring miscarriage, trying to get pregnant

Facing Infertility….the fear

Gone… Thats what I told my husband on the phone the next day. He was sad and silent. He didn’t know how to comfort me. “I” didn’t know how to comfort me. Pulling myself out of bed, I got ready to meet my friends and family, dreading how to announce my miscarriage. I decided to do it over the phone at a later date, in case I spoiled my friend’s wedded bliss. So I went through the motions until my flight home to husband. I collapsed into his arms and stayed in bed for a week….my naivety in thinking pregnancy was a Hollywood movie was dashed.  Fear of infertility had sunk in and now I was a victim of this crushing reality of not being able to be a mother; not being able to start a family with my husband…fear, guilt, depression had started and refused to let go.

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